I’d be lying if I said that I’d done what I set out to do.
To write something that was worth this space.
Instead, I’m holding the practice out before the quality of
any given thing. I’m making myself do the thing so I can
keep a promise. A promise that holds a longer, deeper
meaning — a meaning that is rooted in purpose.
The promise here is embedded in the heart. The purpose
the meaning that’s made of that promise. The practice
a means to an end, as well as an end. The journey.


Power’s out haiku

The power is out
Buckley’s lying at my feet
Pizza for dinner



Have you cidered? Is that even a word?

I guess a better question would be, have you ever made cider? And by make cider, I mean, stood at a giant cider press, tossed in apples to grind, and then pressed the ground apple bits until all of the juice was nice and squeezed out?

As I sit here, typing this, I’m sipping on some amazing golden apple cider, pressed just a few hours ago by myself and some new friends (well, one I’ve known for a couple of years, the other two I met today). It’s incredibly satisfying.

What was really satisfying was turning that press, and watching the juice flow out, into the bucket.

After I took my first sip (the first sip of the whole batch, actually), the other guy that was present said, there’s something about fresh squeezed juice. It just makes your brain go, whoah!’” I couldn’t agree more. It’s like the body is saying, yes please.” — and in a way that I’ve never experieced before. Not with juice, any way.

So, what’s the point here? There really isn’t one. I just wanted to share. I’m enjoying this cider (I’ve got four mason jars of it in my fridge). I’m feeling grateful for having been invited into a community building experience. That’s all there is to it.


Living Questions

What happens when we try to step into the answer of a question? What kind of thoughts, insights, ideas, knowledge, creativity emerges from the process of living into a question?

It’s been a while since I’ve done the write-every-day thing. A long while. It’s funny, this 18 months of pandemic, work-from-home, have a less structured life thing has led to less writing than the previous year-and-a-half had. I suppose that shouldn’t be too much of a surprise. The way that the pandemic (as well as other national and global occurances) has turned things on its head has created the perfect opportunity for things to come a bit unglued.

And boy did they do that for me. Don’t worry, I don’t plan to process all of that here (well, not directly anyway — or consciously). What I’m interested in is getting back into the groove of daily posting1 if only to get back into the groove of writing. I’m going to put things here, on liberat.es since it’s a place that is (and has been) about the more raw, unfiltered stuff. I’ll try to do bigger pieces and bring the more polished stuff over to my primary blog on my webiste. That place will house things that are directly related to my coaching and facilitation work.

So, back to the first couple of sentences up there ⬆️. What about them? What about the questions?

At the heart of it, this is what I feel the writing I want to do is about. Hell, it’s what the work I want to do is about. We’re on a journey together in this life. The journey is taking us somewhere — where that is is a big mystery. Indeed, it’s probably not to just one place. All we can really know is that we have today in front of us — hell, more specific, this moment. Which means, in a lot of ways, that each moment is about stepping into a question: what happens now? And now? And now?

Sure, we can predict. Hell, we can even seem to know. But does that really matter? I suppose I’m interested in writing as another form of meditation. A meditation that leads to something new. Something surprising.

We’ll see.

  1. Well…mostly daily, anyway. I suppose it’s possible, if not likely, that it will end up being not quite daily. We’ll see. Fingers crossed.↩︎


Letting go of another sort

Sometimes, when I find myself with an idea to write about, I go back to the archives of this here blog dealeo and take a look to see if there’s a post from the past couple of years about that very thing. Sometimes there is. Like this one.

I had to laugh a little when I opened it and read its two short paragraphs. I laughed, not because it was really about what I wanted to write about today. No, I laughed because it was a lesson I’d forgotten over the last two years. One that I needed a reminder about. At the very least, all of this is worth it for that.

Ok, so what did I want to write about? Well, a different sort of letting go. I’m not going to get overly specific here, as I’m still thinking about this, but I wanted to get some thoughts down here. Sometimes, we get into things — be they hobbies or activities, groups, clubs, memberships, professions, etc. We get into them for a reason, a reason that has tons of legitimacy. And sometimes we stay in that thing, even as the reason shifts. Sometimes the reason shifts for us and keeps us in the thing. It could be a bowling league, a therapy group, a job. It really doesn’t matter.

But then things shift in a way that can make us wonder about our reasoning1. Is this for me? Or for you? For service? For adulation? Is it just a habit?

Or has the thing just morphed in a way we can’t quite see yet, requiring us to morph, or our relationship to the thing to morph2? This means that a shift isn’t about endings but about transformation. Or, maybe, transmutation.

Either way, a letting go is essential. It’s easy to think of a letting go as being about endings. About losing something. About not having that thing anymore. And that’s true. Letting go is about those things. Yet, from this angle, at least where I sit, it’s about more. It’s about reimagining from multiple perspectives. It’s about inner and outer shifts. Shifts in such a way that loss is the last thing on your mind because you have just gained something. Ending is irrelevant because of the beautiful new beginning.

Letting go can be about, well, receiving.

Yes. That’s what I was needing to hear.

  1. I know. I’m betraying one of my cardinal rules’ — to use I’ language. I’m generalizing here. It’s not to avoid responsibility, I assure you. It’s because I’m still sorting this out in my head, as I said, and it’s easier for me to do this in a more general sort of way. Carry on.↩︎

  2. So, this is a great example of what putting this stuff down does for me. I had no idea that this would come through. And this is a lesson for me to ponder.↩︎


Everything’s a conversation

Walk out your front door. What do you experience?

Accept a job offer. How does your life unfold?

Ignore your partner’s text. What happens next?

Years ago, I had a teacher who talked about how our entire lives are essentially conversations with the world. We engage — through behavior, words — and the world responds. It’s a question and answer process. Sometimes we do the asking, sometimes we do the answering. We can think of each of our actions and inter-actions as an ongoing, unfolding conversation.

What is the conversation that you are in at this moment? How has it changed from year to year? Decade to decade? What are you learning? What new knowledge are you helping to create?

And then there’s the kicker1, who is it that we are really having the conversations with anyway?

Does it matter?

  1. Well, a kicker anyway.↩︎