Anticipation

It’s nothing new, but boy is it top of mind. Have you ever had the dentist drill so deep that you finally felt the pain that you were anticipating? Only, not really. It was more the beginning stages of pain. You weren’t going to jump out of your chair, but you were certain that that was what was next. The next time the drill hit the tooth, you were for sure going to be hugging the ceiling. Only that never came.

I need a crown. I was hoping I wouldn’t, but I do. Seems that I’ve got a crack in the tooth. It’s a crack that could, eventually, split the tooth…but I’m assured that’s not something I need to worry about right now. But, I need a crown. I have to say, I think I have the best dentist in the game. He’s kind. He’s compassionate. He’s good what he does. And he helped me through the whole thing. Including upping the Novocain when I started to feel” the drilling. He’s good people. He’s certainly not this guy.

For the most part, whenever I need work by this dentist, I’m relaxed. Today, something was happening. I was noticing myself getting tense. He’d come in with the drill, and I’d contract. I’d be ready for it. Finally, it came.

Kind of.

Truth is, I probably could have done without the extra shot of numbing. Partly, because there’s only so much it can do. Even with it, the discomfort increased. I was at the edges of pain. But it was the anticipation that was getting me. It was what I was preparing for. Honestly, when I let myself relax, I was able to be with the discomfort way better than when I contracted.

Anticipation must make up some crazy percentage of our psychic and emotional energy. Not sure what it would be, but I bet it’s high.

Dealing with what’s actually right in front of us seems like a better strategy. Funny that that’s not really how we’re wired.

December 11, 2018


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